Get Authentic with Marques Ogden
Get Authentic with Marques Ogden

Episode 50 · 4 weeks ago

Get Authentic with Marques Ogden- Stacia Aashna


Marques speaks with Stacia Aashna. Stacia is a very successful health and wellness coach and hypnotherapist, who helps her clients regain focus and clarity in their everyday lives!

In this heart-felt episode, Marques chats with Stacia about the amazing work she is doing to help our clients succeed at the highest level.  To check out more of our podcast episodes, please click our website link Marques Ogden | Keynote speaker - Executive Coach

Hello, I've got something exciting to share with you today that will change the way you play your sport forever. I'm Dr Michael Hutchinson, and I discovered something that everyone has in their body and virtually nobody uses. But if you knew how to use it, you could increase your strength by sixteen percent on the average, increase your oxygen intake, reduce your chance of a concussion down to point two percent, and allow you to speak normally while you canticipate. This technology is called mandibular physiological rest position. Everyone wants an edge and no one wants to concussion, So follow me and I'll show you where you can get one. To power up power plus malta Ye. Welcome to another special episode of The Bit Authentic with Marcus Show. I'm your host, Marcus Soden, and today we're joined by Stasia Oshna. Were bring up Stasia to the stage one of thanks. Two of our amazing sponsors Deflect Tech l l C. A shoulder protection device brand out of Colorado. They help you to negate getting a shoulder injury while playing compact sports. And Bill Keifer and Associates, a consulting brand helping you get placed in a new career based out of the Ohio area. Now turn up to the stage, Stasia. Are you doing Staa? I am doing great. Thank you so much, Marquez. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Thank you so much for joining us. So Stasia. What does the word authentic slash authenticity mean to Stasia? Ah, it means so much. I believe that really like that is that's my main focus in life is living a life that is true to me, and that is an authentic life. Uh. It is um it's sort of my mission, and it is my mission to help my clients, to help people that come to me to really connect with that, to connect with what what is true to them? Who are they like? And that that is a process of really sometimes stripping away some of the beliefs, the ideologies that we were given, that you've had since birth, that some of some of which may be congruent with who you are with what feels really good and right to you, and some of them might not. Uh. And and that's a journey, It's a beautiful journey to really figure out what is what is true to you, what feels authentic and when we live an authentic life, when we live a life that is authentic to us. I believe that is really what gives us joy and meaning and purpose, and it puts us on that path that, you know, we find what is really right for us. M H. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get real for a moment. Sometimes you have to strip away what you think it is or what you think you have in order to find out who you really are and who you really want to be. Right. I call that the accountability mirror, right, and a lot of people are prave to see their accountling mirror. A lot...

...of people go into it once. Your opinion on this doscia project management where they feel they have to fix other people and don't want to fix themselves because they don't want to face the reality or face the mirror and see what is really holding them back, pain, suffering, trauma, whatever the case may be. What are your thoughts on people who don't want to get a coach or get to that point place in their life right because they then focus on trying to fix other people because they too don't want to fix themselves. Uh, you know, fixing other people is a distraction. Uh. It often seems like we're on this mission to help people and that feels really good. And that's kind of like the superficial image of what that is, like, oh, I'm helping people, But often that is just a guy is for somebody who is really trying to avoid their own stuff. That's a really like classic codependent behavior where we just we're just using fixing other people as a way to avoid ourselves. And you know, and it's it's not that that is like that's such an awful thing to do. It is well intended. People are scared, you know, it's it can be scary, like truly scary to really go within and ask yourself these deep important questions to get to know who you are. So it makes sense people use all kinds of different distractions and ways to avoid facing those deep inner wounds and past traumas and all that stuff. But you know, unfortunately, there is no way to get to that true authentic path without actually really looking at yourself totally and addressing those things. Stacia so well said and couldn't agree more. And the opening set you say and help your clients with some of these stings. Tell our listeners what Astacia Oshla do? What is her chosen you know, career, her passion, what is it that she loves to do and how do you help your clients? Well, thank you for asking me that, And I'm like, I feel kind of overjoyed to even be able to talk about what I do because I truly like, no, I am living my life's purpose through this work that I'm doing, which I didn't for a long time. I worked in the corporate world. You know, I was building other people's dreams and not that there's like, oh, you know, not that you can't live an authentic life and work in the corporate world, but for me, it just wasn't what I was meant to be doing. And right now, what my work is is, I'm a trauma informed coach. I'm an eternal Family Systems practitioner, which is a psychological model which is extremely powerful for helping people to connect with their authentic self. And I'm a clinical hypnotherapist, so I do really deep, subconscious work with my clients to help them really connect with who they are, to un understand those protective layers that they have kind of taken on, the defensive defense mechanisms but they have taken on throughout their life to kind of keep them shielded from those you know, childhood woundings, the past, stuff that we don't want to face. We developed like all these defense mechanisms, which in a way become like our personality, where we're going out into the world with like all these defense mechanisms that we we sometimes we even think we're living in authentic life, but then when we actually sit with ourselves, we slow things down, we get quiet, you know, with the help of a therapist or a coach or somebody who's trained to hold that kind of space, you start to think, like, hmm, you know, is this really my path or am I just living a trajectory that was kind of given to me based on my family, based on my culture and some like I said, it's not that all of that is like not true to who you are. There are always pieces of that that have built you up, that have made you who you are, but it there's probably a...

...lot of stuff that doesn't really resonate with who you are. But you're just sort of you're just living that path because that's what your parents did, your grandparents did, everybody before you did. That's what the culture says that you're supposed to do. Right, Yeah, no, please go ahead and please containing so I said, So I do one on one work with clients and we do really deep, powerful work and using all these different modalities that I work with. I also do group work. But I got into this work because of my own experiences, Like I said at the beginning of this, like, I really know what it's like to be on a path that just didn't feel right, and and how good it feels now to really be living a life that feels truly congruent with my values and my soul. Oh love it living a life that where your values are congruent with your soul. And I feel that's something and that a lot of people need to really hear. Right, So let's get real for a moment. I'm in therapy right now. Myself. I have a lot of things going on. Business is doing very well, we're very blessed in that regard. But when that happens, sometimes your personal life has challenges, or sometimes you feel you're not doing as good as a parent or a spouse, for the case may be. So I'm in therapy to help get myself into that kind of building move to keep moving forward. But when I was eight years old, my parents divorced and I had a really hard time adjusting to that. I got into fights in school, I was out of character, I was not like myself, and it is a lot of the trauma that I had dealt with. And I want to really thank my father because I love my grandfather and my grandmother got rested soul his parents, But the growing up, they didn't really have the whole go see a therapist, go get help, go unpack your feelings. My father put me into therapy when I was probably about maybe nine or ten. I remember I would go to Howard University actually went to college after that was kind of crazy, and I got to meet with my therapist, Dr Audrey Chapman once a week to unpack these things and get them out, and it really helped me to learn how to channel my emotion and things of that nature. So I wanted to kind of touch on that because I want our listeners to know what you're saying. Not only am I just saying this is awesome, but I've lived it and I went through it on my own. How important is a stasia for people who were going through what I went through the divorce or having some type of trauma, some type of issues to get help to help unpack those feelings be able to do what moved for work in a better way. Yeah, thank you for sharing all that, Like really, and I I mean much kudos to your dad for being such a such a good caretaker to you to figure out when you were nine and ten that you could that you needed a little bit of outside help to really process the feelings that you're experiencing, especially as a young boy. Oh my goodness, right, So I think that's wonderful and I am Yeah, I love that you're on that path, that you're truly like on the path of accountability and personal growth. Uh. And I I can say you know in my work with with people that as much as we sometimes we don't want to thank we think it's a it's in the past, it's like it's already over, like it's not affecting me. It always is like you are right now a product of your past, and a lot of that is developed through those early childhood years. And when we're kids, we don't have the we don't have the..., we don't have the knowledge, our brains have not fully developed to be able to process trauma, to be able to process this deep stuff. We also often don't we aren't often supported. You had a unique situation where you had a father who gave you an opportunity to be able to process stuff. But most of us don't have that. So what do we do as children? We just as a as a like survival tool, as a way to get through. We stuff that stuff down and in I f S we would call that we've exiled it. We have kind of just just pushed it way down. And then we have created a bunch of defense mechanism of protect protective parts of us to kind of just handle life. So you might become avoidant, you might become angry. You know, you take on all these different roles in order to just survive and get through these difficult experiences, and and then that becomes a lot of your person reality. And and what that means is those those deep wounds are still there. They affect you no matter what. Everybody knows this. It will show up in your relationships, it will show up at work, It'll show up like in all these different areas of your life where you're just repeating the same old patterns. And it's because that stuff has not been healed. It's still affecting you, and it's it's not easy to go in and do the work, to sit with a therapist and to process stuff, but it is totally worth it because your life will get better. It will get better, things will start to heal. It will be challenging, but if you really want to have a life that is authentic, you have to sit with that stuff and put it in the light. You can't just keep it buried in the shadows of of yourself because it will affect you and it will continue to uh kind of manipulate your path in a way that you probably don't like. Ah, lady and g And that's segment. Let's get real. If you don't deal with past trauma, if you don't deal with past issues, they will manipulate and run your life. That is about as honest, That is about as transparent, That is about as real as it gets. Right. And I think about if I never dealt with my trauma of my parents divorce, then I would not be an individual that could handle difficult times, be able to process information, and be able to what be cognitive not emotional. And let's chat about that for a second. One of the biggest things I've loved by in my business, our business value drivers okay, But it's interesting is how some of the business value drivers actually will creep over or kind of just connect with the personal. Right. So, one of the business value drivers stopsia is p performance visualization performance visualization, and one of the bullet points of performance visialization is be cognitive not emotional. Now doesn't mean you can't express emotion or things of that nature. What it means is when you're faced with tough times or hard times, or you know, trouble at work or conflict at work, or complicated personally. Right, the better person is the one that is cognitive, that thinks things through and doesn't react. Right, be proactive not reactive. How important is it tell our listeners in life, especially your personal life, be cognitive not emotional when you're faced with tough, turbulent times. I totally appreciate what you're saying, because you know, this is so being being in your in your...

...prefrontal lobe and you're like thinking mind versus like in that uh, in your feelings, which is often you know kind of maybe maybe more of your amygdala, which is this part of your brain that stars the traumas. That's like that's where we get reactive that's where when we're faced with hardship, we kind of regress and we get scared and we almost get sucked into our past where we I mean people in hypnosis, I would say you're almost in a regress childhood trance where you become like a child, You get really scared, and you lose that confident conscious self where you're just in the present. You know what to say, you know what to do, you know how to function in the present, you know how to act and behave, and it's it's very important, and it's and it's it's about training your mind to be able to do that. A lot of us haven't really done that. We were not we're kind of going through life in a reactive way. We haven't trained ourselves to be able to think, to be present and to stay focused. So you know, and that that really does take effort, takes therapy. You Also, mindfulness is a great way to kind of keep yourself in the presency or not just regressing into your emotions and becoming reactive. Emotions are good. Emotions are good, and we we like we can get so much information from them, we don't need to avoid them, but they often sometimes those like really extreme emotions where we go into those really strong, extreme reactions, those are often coming from those traumatized parts of us were actually regressing into the past and we're reliving our traumas in the presence. That happens all the time to people, ladies and gentlemen. Let's get real, foremment. If you do not address things, or if you live your life from a part of your brain that is always just fight, fight, fight, you know, you know, mocial emotions and gets you kill, kill kill. Right, if you live in that frame, your life will not be as rich and impactful and empowering as it could be. Right. I had to learn that because here's the thing being an NFL athlete, that to train your brain to be able to do that and fight because that was your job. But then when you left the field, you have to turn that off. A lot of people struggle with that, right, A lot of guys have gonna struggle with that, me included. That took me six months to figure that out. But in your personal life, right, it is so important, so imperative that you don't live in a perspective of always being emotional, wanting to fight, picking fights, because again, it's going to ruin your quality of life? Big time stops to me ask you this question, what is one of the biggest problems that people come to you with when it comes to trying to figure out how to go through life and deal with hay, deal with struggles, deal with hard times, because again a lot of our listeners might be going through their own struggles. COVID inflation, you know, work, you know, I mean like I mean, for I mean, for example, I saw my wife went to the grocery store. The grocery that was three hundred and fifty dollars. I'm like, what is this? Like, it's me, my wife, and my eight year old daughter three fifty dollars. What is going on? Right? People can't afford this type of stuff. People can't live like this. All these things are creating stress, anxiety, trauma to be pulling up past trauma and people's lives. What is something that people that come to you have have a kind of their biggest struggle that many people that are listening might have the same struggle, right, Stosa, they will open them up to go maybe get some help and get their lives going in a better direction. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I feel you on all of that. By way, and you know, where all everybody's...

...going through their own sort of struggles. The main things that people come to me for is like anxiety and they are maxed out. I get a lot of people that are they're doing everything they can. They feel it, you know, and they and they're usually not giving themselves enough credit for that. But they're working, working, working, they're trying to be the best that they can in their relationships and their families, at work, all of that. But for some reason things are just just constantly chaotic, stressful, and they're filled with anxiety. They're often filled with dread and like just really just feeling hopeless in life and and my work with my clients when they come to me like that, first of all, is to validate their experience, to say, you know, it makes sense that you feel all of this. It is really hard. What you're experiencing is difficult. You are right about all of that. And there is also a way to go through these experiences with more calm, with more ease, with more conscious literally and and literally things don't even have to change that much, but they will change as an effect of you changing your own consciousness of being able to find and connect with your own inner resources to find a connect with your own inner calm. And that is there within all of us, but we're often just so distracted from it because we have been going through life just go go, go, go go, and avoiding all of it. So I teach people how to really slow down, slow things way down, and then connect with that inner calm. I mean I work with people with all kinds of extremes and hypnosis, you know. I work with people who have anxiety manifesting and very extreme ways uh in speech impediments and like you know, absolute like just terror in life. And all of these people have an ability to to connect within, to find peace and to find resolution for these issues and completely change their lives. So I noticed most people are really operating from a lot of fear and anxiety, and and it doesn't have to be that way for anyone. Ladies and gentlemen, Let's get real. If you're operating from high stress, if you're operating from high anxiety, slow down process, don't run at a million miles per hour. You will burn out big time. One thing I had to learn to grow this business is when you hire people, need to let them do their job. Anytime you try to micromanage, be in their face, do this, do that. They'll either either get burnt out or tired of you. Either way, it's not good for you and they're gonna leave. Right So, if you're having stress, anxiety, depression, hard times, yes, you're validated in your feelings. Trust me. Stasia gets it, and so do I. It's hard times out here right now, ladies and gentlemen, it really is. Again, COVID nineteen will leave a long lasting negative effect on our society for many many years to come, many many years. So again, you're not wrong feeling how you feel. But to get your life back on track, slow down process, be cognitive not emotional, and don't make rash decisions based off how you feel in the moment. That's not gonna get you anywhere. So again, slow down, Stasia. How can people connect with you? Want to hire you and get your services for their needs? Maybe with some therapy work hypnosis? How can people connect with you in that regard? Thank you? Yeah, everybody can find me on Instagram It's just Stassia ashna uh and my website which is Stasia Ashina dot com. You can book a free call with me if you'd like to learn more about my process. I do really powerful one one work with clients. I...

...have a ninety day group that is starting in January. It's called Rewired and it's all about relationships and just improving all of your relationships in your life in ninety days. So that's gonna there's more information to come on that, but if you're interested in that group or personal work, you can reach out to me on either of those platforms. Fantastic and the authentic tip for this amazing special episode. Don't let pass trauma, don't let pass hurt, don't let past negative experiences ruin your future. You need to get help. There's no shame in getting help. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a sign of strength. Thank god my father was a pioneer and made me understand getting therapy. Getting help is a sign of strength. I almost got kicked up my college football team for anger management to go to therapy. I'm in therapy now. I've been going to therapy on an offense I was nine ten years old, and it really is a powerful tool to do what get your life back on track where your past trauma, your past hardships, and your past negative experiences don't do what ruin your life or ruin your forward trajectory. Again, this episode was sponsored by the Flex Tech LLC and Bill Keefer and Associates. We thank you both for your amazing sponsorship and partnership with our show. Again, Stasia Ashna was phenomenal, so it's a great special episode. My name is Marcus Ogden. I'm the host of the Get authent Tip with Marcus Ogden Show. Thanks for tuning in, Have a great day.

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